


Familiar

by YumeNouveau



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Docas is a fujoshi, M/M, Remus is a porn star, Sirius writes porn, Tumblr Prompt, based on remus-john-lupin's amazing idea, but it's sfw, but that's no surprise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-01-31 12:00:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18590839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YumeNouveau/pseuds/YumeNouveau
Summary: Based on the incredible tumblr prompt idea by @pixelated:*at a party*Sirius: You look familiar. Have we met?Remus: I do gay porn.Sirius: *chokes*





	Familiar

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pixelated](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pixelated/gifts).



Subtle was not a term Remus would use to describe the man who had been staring at him the entire night. Remus glanced over his shoulder, once again caught by the gaze of a hunter seaking his prey, evoking sensations he could no longer ignore as awareness crept up his spine. At least the guy was hot. The leather jacket and ripped jeans were a bit much, but long hair always did it for Remus. He would be willing to let slide the trying-too-hard-to-be-James-Dean look if only the man had walked right over to chat him up instead of pulling this stalker bullshit. But Remus knew how to deal with guys like this: face them head on and they usually retreated, tail between their legs, like the scared pups they inevitably were. 

Except this time, when Remus looked the man dead in the eye, the man gazed right back, cocking an eyebrow before swaggering over. Remus suddenly regretted everything. 

“Hey,” the dark haired man said, all liquid grace down to his silver eyes and mercury voice. Remus pretended he was less impressed than he was by that single syllable.

“Hi,” he said, as indifferent as possible, taking a swig of his room temperature beer as something to occupy himself. 

“Now, I know this is going to sound like a pick up line, and I swear it’s not, but you just looks so damn familiar. I have this feeling we’ve met before.”

Sighing, Remus squared his shoulders and stood to his full height. Sometimes bluntness was the best medicine to cure an idiot.

“I do gay porn.”

The man made a choking sound in his throat and Remus felt triumphant. Any second now the man would blush, turn tail, and run. Three, two…

“Fuck, I used to jerk off to you!”

Now it was Remus’ turn to choke. He sputtered for a moment, shaking his head once before he could even respond. “Pardon?”

“How did I not see it immediately, I swear, when I was seventeen I wore a hole in one of your DVDs.”

“You can’t wear a hole in a DVD,” Remus responded, not sure what the hell was happening but needing to say something logical before his head began to spin. 

The man waved his hand in the air, black painted nails catching the light. “You know what I mean. Damn you were my wet dream! I swear you’re the reason I figured out I was gay, one look at the cover of...damn what was it called…”

Remus dreaded the end of this sentence.

“Oh that’s right, Lord of the Cock Rings! You had long hair and these really corny elf ear prosthetics!” 

“Mm hmm,” Remus said, wondering just how long this wonderful reminder was going to go on.

“So do you still do porn? I never saw another of your movies or I’d have bought that too.”

“Er, it’s mostly internet stuff now,” Remus confessed. “Easier to produce, no one wants physical reminders of their interests these days.”

“So true! I’m Sirius, Sirius Black by the way.”

Remus held out his hand. “Remus Lupin, but I guess you already know that.”

“You know, one of my characters was based off your looks,” Sirius said with a shrug.

“I...don’t know what that means,” Remus replied, struggling through this strange turn of converstation. Most people were embarrassed, sometimes disgusted by his line of work, but Sirius seemed strangely immune. It was quite refreshing but also jarring to have the script flipped so suddenly.

“Ah, so my name doesn’t ring a bell? Sirius Black, the author?”

Remus shook his head. “Sorry, I mostly read nonfiction…

 

“Well that explains it. I write a line of successful novels. Gay novels.”

There it was. Remus knew there had to be a reason the man was so open. “Congratulations?”

“Why thank you,” Sirius said, tilting his chin, his long black hair brushing over one shoulder. “Obviously I could only base the character on your looks, didn’t exactly know your personality.”

“I’m guessing he doesn’t get nailed by a Cockring Wraith either?”

Sirius threw his head back and laughed so loud that almost everyone around them turned to look. Flustered at being the sudden center of attention at a rather crowded party, Remus gave a shrug and then pulled Sirius off toward the only free corner of the room, which just happened to be near the door. 

 

“Really, are we leaving so soon so you can have your wicked way with me?” Sirius asked, mistaking Remus’ intentions. Remus released the other man’s sleeve and gave him a tired glare. “Look, I know my job is literally to have sex, but that doesn’t mean I…

 

Sirius raised both hands in surrender. “Whoa, it was a joke. Believe me, if anyone understands that people assume you’ll sleep with them because your job involves sex, it’s me.”

“Oh? How so?”

“I swear, every time I do a reading, book signing, or convention, some asshole tries to cop a feel or ask me back to his place. Once I was even at a meet and greet at a bar and I saw a bloke slip something in my drink.”

“What the hell?”

“Right? Though I must say it was a wonderful excuse to act a lady spurned and throw it in his rather ugly face.”

Now it was Remus’ turn to laugh. 

Sirius seemed genuinely thrilled to have caused such a reaction and bit his bottom lip in an adorably innocent way.

“Bet it’s worse for you though, you have sex all day then some idiot just wants you to the same for him at home.”

Remus kept his emotions in check though the subject was one that brought with it a well of tumultuous memories. “Honestly, I don’t do relationships because of it. I can’t really blame a guy for getting jealous I’m getting fucked all day and won’t give it to him. It’s only natural.”

“Do you have no sex drive then? I mean if that’s too personal…”

“No, it’s not that. I mean, when I’m working, it’s just a job. I’ll shoot for a few weeks, take a month or more off, so I don’t burn out. It takes me a couple weeks to recover, but then I do get my drive back until I have to shoot and it feels like work again. It’s an odd cycle.”

“I get that. I have to take breaks between books or I get burnt out too. Don’t make yourself out to be some sort of oddity, we’re all wired different and you seem to have learned to handle your mix of work and pleasure in a healthy way.”

“I guess.”

“Sorry, speaking of work, I really have to get back home to write. My muse usually strikes around this time.” Sirius pulled out a business card and scribbled his number on the back. “My cell. Give me a call, you know, in case you don’t want to have sex together.”

“Really?”

“Why not?” Sirius looked adorably puzzled. “I like company even when I’m writing, we can play video games or watch movies. Whatever you want.”

“I…” Normally Remus would not even consider this but something about Sirius was so genuine he couldn’t find it in his heart to refuse. “Yeah sure.”

“Great!” Sirius beamed over at him before something caught the man’s eye. “Sorry, need to say bye to my friends. Hey Dorcas!”

A lovely woman with dark hair in a stylish undercut sauntered over and gave the men a look. Especially Remus. 

“Sorry I’m on my way, tell Marlene bye for me.” He seemed to notice the odd attention his friend was directing Remus’ way. “Have you two met?”

She opened her mouth, as if Remus’ infamy was on the tip of her tongue, before it escaped into the cavernous ceiling above. Instead she shook her head. “I swear you look so familiar though, but I can’t quite place you.”

Sirius and Remus looked at one another in tandem before the burst out laughing.

Dorcas pursed her lips, looking from one knowing man to the other. “Alright, what’s so damn funny?”

**Author's Note:**

> So I just had to write this cause I couldn't get it out of my head and @Pixelated gave me the go ahead which was much too kind. Honestly their take on it is much better, go take a gander! https://archiveofourown.org/works/18182564  
> (Not betaed so please don't point out my spelling, I know it sucks)


End file.
